getting yours
|
|
Assertiveness: getting yours |
To set the scene, we have 2 friends (let's call them Rupert and Stanley) sitting down to discuss the state of the environment under the Bush administration. As you'll see, the conversation goes nowhere fast.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rupert: What do you think of President Bush's handling of the environment?
Stanley: Why, that is a brilliant question coming from you! (COMPLIMENTARY INSULT) I don't think the issue is being for or against the environment. The real issue facing our country is the Constitution. I propose that we rewrite the entire document. ("THIS OR THAT")
Rupert: You mentioned the Constitution. Can you quote the preamble for me? (HEAT-SEEKING QUESTION)
Stanley: Since you obviously weren't listening when I said this before, I'm forced to repeat myself (LISTEN UP) - I think we should rewrite the Constitution.
Rupert: I once thought that way when I was your age (YOU'LL GET OVER IT), however your emotional involvement with this issue obscures your ability to see things objectively. (THINK VS. FEEL)
Stanley: Well, my track record is certainly one issue, but this month's agenda is another. ("X IS ONE ISSUE, Y IS ANOTHER")
Rupert: Do you want communism in America? Is that what you want? (THE SALESMAN'S CLOSE)
Stanley: We need to define just exactly what you mean by communism. (NIT-PICKING)
Rupert: That is an interesting question coming from you. Interesting, interesting, interesting. (DESCRIBE THE QUESTION) Uhhh...what do you think the answer to your question is? (REVERSE THE QUESTION)
Stanley: I'd like to respond to that, but taking into account your background, education, and intelligence, I am quite sure that you would not be able to understand. (OVER YOUR HEAD)
Rupert: I don't care if other people say you're opinionated, (I'M NOT SAYING THIS) but what drives you to make such a statement? (QUESTION THE QUESTION / COMMENT)
Stanley: Remember last time we had an argument, and you turned out to be wrong and wouldn't admit it? Now we're in the same spot we were last time. (SELECTIVE MEMORY) With that said, even you should be able to grasp the next point. (EVEN YOU) You oppose capital punishment because of an irrational suppressed death taboo common among those who have suffered emotional trauma during childhood. (WISHFUL THINKING)
Rupert: Death taboo? I didn't suffer any emotional trau...and who mentioned capital punishment anyway? You said you wanted to rewrite the Constitution! And didn't we already have this argument just before you went through the de-tox program? (CHEAP SHOT)
Stanley: So you would just like to kill off anyone who disagrees with you, it appears! (LUNATIC FRINGE)
Rupert: Honestly! You can't REALLY expect me to believe that? (BOMBAST) I don't feel that way at all!
Stanley: You said 'feel' instead of 'think'. If you are feeling instead of thinking, I won't be able to convince you with reason. (OUT OF CONTEXT)
Rupert: I have observed that those who disagree with me on the next point tend to be unsophisticated, and those who quickly recognize the validity of the point to be more educated. (RIGHT BY ASSOCIATION) The point is that the Constitution is a relic and needs to be updated. I know the idea sounds unorthodox, but a recent study at Harvard has substantiated this view. (STUDIES HAVE SHOWN)
Stanley: I don't see how you figure that. (DENIAL OF A VALID CONCLUSION) I don't think we can go on until we establish the scientific validity of that last statement. (CUT 'EM OFF AT THE PASS)
Rupert: What you inferred is not what you implied. (BRIAN SEIZURE) In view of the federal budget deficit, civil unrest, and international politics, we need to consider that, notwithstanding the mitigating circumstances, this country has got to get back on its feet. Don't you agree? (WORD SALAD)
Stanley: ...
Rupert: ...
Stanley: Well...I'm glad you asked. Would you like a long or a short answer? (DESCRIBE THE ANSWER)
Rupert: Why look, your lips are quivering. You have a hard time admitting defeat, don't you? (LOOK AT YOU)
Stanley: This reminds me of the time I was in Cucamonga. Let me tell you, it was hot! And we were in a small hotel when a gas leak started. Well! You can imagine how we.... (START A STORY)
Rupert: Again, what does this have to do with anything? It sounds as if you are saying that torturing children is a good idea... (DISTORTED ACTIVE LISTENING) Then let's just say that we knew for sure that you were a sexual pervert... (HYPOTHETICAL INSULT)
Stanley: That's a cruel thing to say, and I know you don't mean it. (I KNOW BETTER)
Rupert: This line of reasoning is called the MacGregor Phenomenon (NAME IT) but I agree, this is getting ridiculous - let's start from the top...what was your first point again?
Stanley: My first point is point #1. (OBVIOUS ANSWER)
Rupert: Now that's just silly...much like this... [waves arms while stating]
Stanley: How is that movement silly?
Rupert: [waves arms wildly]
Stanley: Huh? (REPEAT OFFENDER)
Rupert: [stops waving arms] I would like to answer your question directly, but considering your past reactions, I feel that to do so would be a disservice to you at this time. (KNEE JERK) Not to mention, as it says in the Bible: 'God helps those who help themselves'. (SELECTIVE QUOTATION)
Stanley: That's not an actual quote from the Bible...
Rupert: 78.567% of Americans said just that, but were found to be wrong. (FAST ANSWER)
Stanley: Oh. I suppose in your eyes I am just a total failure... (PRETEND AD HOMINEM) I knew it, you never liked me! [sobs] (YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT)
Rupert: Now that I have answered your point, do you have any other concerns?
Stanley: [sobs]
Rupert: Ahem, now that I have answered your point, do you have any other concerns? (FILIBUSTER)